Questions in a Little Dark Corner

Who argon you? Is this me? Why cant I recognize myself? those questions capture always been around me in the pass few classs that I present hided myself in a piffling dark corner. I take a shit asked the aforesaid(prenominal) questions to myself over and over again, however when can I fare an final result? Ive only got much and more questions come break with through my mind. I dont f are where they came from, I dont what to say, and I dont know what to do, but cry, in a piffling dark corner.I started to ask those questions when I came to America. I dont know wherefore, but I do know this have never happened to me before. behind in Taiwan, I was known as a cute little little missy that likes to play a lot, m either adult loves me by wee-wee them bright. I know I have come from a beauteous little island, which we all called Taiwan. I never scene about outlet anywhere outside of this country, until my father has already decided to start a new adventure at America . He thinks this is a good prospect for us to see outside of the world, and learn nighaffair new form the out side world. provided are you sure this is a right thing to do? Nobody knows, not even myself.Socratic Seminar QuestionsI have no sentiment whats like to be apart from my country, I alone know Im following my dads order, and go on to the airplane just as he tell me to. I only know few speech communication in position, like hello and good bye, or the virtually important one bathroom. I still remember when we came blast from the airplane, we were lost in the airport, since my older babe have the best face out of all of us, my father tried to convince her to ask heraldic bearing for us, but still she is also have never reproof to any American before, therefore we are all dislike to talk to anyone.But we still choose attention for our way out, and then we have the idea to use paper-rock-scissor to decide who impart be the one communicate direction for us. This pa per-rock-scissor thing has happen through out the whole first year that we came to America. Even we have already been practiced talking to native speakers, I dont know why I still didnt see any approach of my English skill, and Im the only one still on the same mend as I came to America.I have never liked to talk to any American I know if I dont talk my English skill will never get better, but what can I do? I cant, just cant, Im claustrophobic to spring any mistakes or see other people put one across joke out of me, I dont want to make fun of myself and let people laugh at my face. I dont know what to do, what can I do?At the school, because of my afraid, I didnt talk to any other students therefore I didnt have any fighter. Everyone think Im weird, no one likes to talk to me, and there are even have some classmate thought Im one of the modified kid they dont like me, and I dont like them, Im all alone. But is this what I really want? No, I do not want my lifetime continue like this. I want to make some conversancys, be part of them, have some laugh with, and be happy. Dont walk out-of-door from me, dont turn your face away, look at me and talk to me, be friend with me, but how? I keep asking myself to speak, to talk, just overt my spill the beans, but why cant I do it? Why? I ask myself in a dark corner.After one year, when I know we are moving, and I was going to transfer to another school, I was so happy I thought I can make up my pillock mistake, and make some friends this time. By the time before the first mean solar day to my new school, I was teaching myself how to introduce myself to other classmates in face of my bathroom mirror, think that I can actually make some friend on my own. I was very happy I thought I dont need my little corner any more.But I was wrong. I didnt make up any of my mistakes, I have make it again. When I saw other students came to me, my talk immediately closed up, and I only stand there and watch them walk pas s through me one by one. I hate myself, hate that couldnt speak, hate why cant I just do it, and make some friends. Im back in the little dark corner, I said to myself everyday, to talk, to speak, to make friend, but I never did it, I cant, not even I wanted to, my mouth just wont work. What can I do? I keep asking myself the same question again and again.Two years have passed my sister and my brother has getting better and butter in English, and they have make all kinds of friends, only I havent trade much, and still no friend for me. High school is getting closer and closer, only few mouth left, I know what I need to do, I know what I should do, but can I do it? I keep practicing my little speech to myself, will I make friends? Will I open my mouth? I dont know, but I will try. I will try anything to get out of the little dark corner.Now Im a high school student, the little dark corner is getting littler and smaller I have friends now, and I even have by BFF, and Ill continue to make more friends. I do not need my corner anymore. But still, I will like to become more open like what I use to be, the happy little girl who always have a nice smile on the face, and make everyone laugh all the time. Even Im not a little girl anymore, to be happy or sad, Im still me, I may change over time, but I am still here. This is the new me, to get stronger and stronger, to help other get out of the little dark corner.